My name is Lee McPeters and this is my story.
So the first question on all of your minds is probably, “Why would he broadcast the fact that he is a C average student?” And my answer is that I accept it and am content with that fact. Now I don’t mean content as I only try hard enough to get C’s. I mean content because I know that I have tried and I know that I have gone through things that have made me struggle and have brought me to this point. Throughout the last 5 years I have struggled with many health issues that have hurt my experience and performance. I can’t blame that as the cause of all my issues with school though, as I can sometimes be my own worst enemy. Procrastination, shame, and denial were all things I struggled with as well. I started my college life at a community college where my GPA was a 3.6. Graduating with my Associates Degree, I transferred to UAlbany and after my first semester my grades had dropped dramatically. I
am now in my 3rd year here at UAlbany and my GPA is a 2.5.
So although outside issues affected me greatly, there were things inside me that affected me just as much, maybe even more. I know now that I am not alone and I want to use this blog as a way to reach others like me so that you can gain hope from my experience and know you are not alone.
I wanted to write about this topic because I know I felt ashamed and alone. I felt like I was the only one who was doing poorly, and that I must not be good enough to succeed. I would tell people that I was doing ok and make it look like I was happy on the outside, while in reality inside I was fighting an inner struggle. I wouldn’t accept help from my parents, friends, teachers, or advisors. This only caused me to sink farther which led to denial. I would fall into the mentality of just being good enough. Thoughts like “At least I’m passing” or “If I fail it’s just one class, no big deal” started to fill my mind. All this time there were people and resources that were readily and easily available. All I had to do was ask. But my shame and my pride kept me from taking advantage of those resources. So although outside issues affected me greatly, there were things inside me that affected me just as much, maybe even more. I know now that I am not alone and I want to use this blog as a way to reach others like me so that you can gain hope from my experience and know you are not alone.
So a little about me: I am 23 years old, and a senior in standing. I started at UAlbany as a full-time student. I am now part-time. I work part-time as well. All these things lend to the experience I have had while in school and have made me the person, student, and worker I am today. All the way through high school I was home-schooled and it was an experience I will always cherish and I know it was influential in shaping me and my knowledge. Throughout high school I was active, participating in various sports. Rowing, skiing, and basketball were my three main sports. These activities kept me in relatively good shape as well as healthy. When I was 18, I broke my collarbone in a skiing accident. This led to my health declining and I believe it was the start of the issues that I have been dealing with for the last 5 years. Upon entering community college I adjusted well, as it was small and everything was easily accessible. Over the 3 years I was there, I made friends as well as mentors who helped me succeed. When I transferred to UAlbany, the almost 360 degree change was overwhelming. Classes were now much larger, and I had to start fresh and make new friends and mentors. With this change, I started to retreat inward and the pattern of self-sabotage started. This continued until about a year ago when I realized I wasn’t alone and I had people and resources who were there for me and wanted me to succeed. Since then things have been much easier.” It is a slow journey but a journey that I must say I wish I started sooner, and I hope that my story will help others.
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About the Author:
Lee M. Class of 2017 | Transfer Major: Communication and English Spring 2016 Blog Theme: Struggling on the Pathway to Success - Thoughts of C Average Student
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