In her last post, Brittany wrote about how her being a Senior at UAlbany was a miracle. After years of trauma and abuse, and after waiting years to get her GED, she is now ready to take steps into a future that she had never imagined. We hope that you are inspired by the second part of her series, A Miracle Journey.
Today I am writing about anticipation and the effects that it has. I mentioned in my last post that I was a senior. I am applying to grad school and trying to determine the next phase of my life in order to continue my education to get to my “dream job”. I applied to one graduate program which I am really praying I am able to attend. I did get an interview and now await a letter in the mail to inform me of whether or not I was accepted. The anticipation is killing me.
I am sure everyone can relate, whether it is an approval letter, a test score, a job application, internship application, or applying to a new school. I think that we all get nervous from anticipating what will become, or as I like to say, the fear of the unknown.
I have noticed that even when I am going to somewhere fun and interesting or joining a class, I become so excited at the thought of a new experience, that I become anxious with the “what ifs”. The fear of the unknown can be debilitating. In the past, I have canceled plans and cheated myself out of great opportunities and adventures due to this fear. I would love to say that I am a risk taker and that I am always willing to say yes to what life brings, however that is not the case. I tend to second-guess myself all of the time. Let’s return to my graduate school plans. I was afraid to go to the admissions interview and I second-guessed my outfit, my hair, and my abilities. Did I even deserve this interview? Honestly, I thought of canceling. I know this may sound insane, but I am that afraid of the unknown. What if the staff did not like me? What if I did not get in? Thank God, I went! If nothing else, I have had the experience of being interviewed and I have learned. Today, I make a promise to myself to embrace my fear and not allow it to control me any further. Today I say yes!
A Word About Impostor Syndrome…
PLEASE NOTE: THE VIEWS OF OUR STUDENT BLOGGERS DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE UALBANY ACADEMIC SUPPORT CENTER OR THE CENTER FOR INTERNATIONAL EDUCATION AND GLOBAL STRATEGY. THESE ARE THEIR STORIES – THEIR VOICES.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: