In her last post, Brittany wrote about how her being a Senior at UAlbany was a miracle. After years of trauma and abuse, and after waiting years to get her GED, she is now ready to take steps into a future that she had never imagined. We hope that you are inspired by the second part of her series, A Miracle Journey.
Today I am writing about anticipation and the effects that it has. I mentioned in my last post that I was a senior. I am applying to grad school and trying to determine the next phase of my life in order to continue my education to get to my “dream job”. I applied to one graduate program which I am really praying I am able to attend. I did get an interview and now await a letter in the mail to inform me of whether or not I was accepted. The anticipation is killing me.
I am sure everyone can relate, whether it is an approval letter, a test score, a job application, internship application, or applying to a new school. I think that we all get nervous from anticipating what will become, or as I like to say, the fear of the unknown.
I have noticed that even when I am going to somewhere fun and interesting or joining a class, I become so excited at the thought of a new experience, that I become anxious with the “what ifs”. The fear of the unknown can be debilitating. In the past, I have canceled plans and cheated myself out of great opportunities and adventures due to this fear. I would love to say that I am a risk taker and that I am always willing to say yes to what life brings, however that is not the case. I tend to second-guess myself all of the time. Let’s return to my graduate school plans. I was afraid to go to the admissions interview and I second-guessed my outfit, my hair, and my abilities. Did I even deserve this interview? Honestly, I thought of canceling. I know this may sound insane, but I am that afraid of the unknown. What if the staff did not like me? What if I did not get in? Thank God, I went! If nothing else, I have had the experience of being interviewed and I have learned. Today, I make a promise to myself to embrace my fear and not allow it to control me any further. Today I say yes!
A Word About Impostor Syndrome…
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