I hope I haven’t already
driven past my greatest moments.
I hope there is something beautiful in the horizon
That’s just as impatient as I am.
Something so eager,
It wants to meet halfway.
A moment that is diligently staring at its watch, frustrated,
Butting at the seams
And wondering at the seams
And wondering what’s taking me so long to arrive.
Horizon – Rudy Francisco
One of the biggest things influencing me this semester, is the question, “What will I do once the semester ends?”
Truthfully, I have never known what I would like to do after college. All I knew was that I have always had a love for words. I have always had a love for books, but poetry, as I have been expressing lately, is something I really just grew into. When I was younger I didn’t much attention to it. It was stories that that I liked. Nonetheless, poetry has become a rock.
It first started with my 11th grade Creative Writing teacher, Mrs. Chan, who is still one of my favorite people to this day. During my freshmen year of college, my love for poetry really heightened when I was introduced to spoken word by another one of my favorite people, and best friend, Kerry DeBruce. You may know her as one of our other Project MyStory bloggers. Kerry was one of the first people to introduce me to the poetry love of my life, Rudy Francisco. I listened to this 8 minute long poem called Love Medley and I literally fell in love with his voice and his words and spoken word in general since then. After that there were many late nights where I stayed up watching the rest of his popular poems, or showing his poems off to my friends.
Eventually I followed him on Instagram and tried my hardest to keep track of his shows but the dates he was in NY never seemed to work out.
This week, I had the greatest pleasure not only to hear him perform live at UAlbany, but to also get his book, No Gravity, signed and to take a photo with him.
Even though I have listened to his poems repeatedly, I noticed that he performed them with the same excitement as if it was his first time.
I also learned something new about him. He did not major in English or anything that I thought might have carried into the path of an artist. I believe he was going to school as a statistical data analyst, when he eventually quit his job to go and preform poetry full time. Looking back now, I wish I would have asked him more about that transition. Was he scared? What was the transition like? How did he know it was the right decision?
Currently, I find myself asking the same questions. Part of me wants to pursue something writing-related in grad school, but another part of me is saying I should do something more concrete and practical. The added pressure from my parents to make a decent salary doesn’t quite help either.
So while I got to see one of my favorite artists perform, it left me inspired to do more, to be active, and to search for the perfect job that I feel will suite me. It puts me at ease to know that this does not have to be the job I will have for the rest of my life, but can still be the job that interests me.. These feelings pushed me to actually muster up the courage to apply for one of the 3 grad school programs I have been thinking about. And even though it was a very small step in comparison to the dozens of others that I have to endure, this week has been the first time all semester where I finally feel like I am making small steps towards my future. And it leaves me with a feeling of hope and relief that my life is going in the right direction – somewhere towards the horizon.
Please Note: The views of our student bloggers do not necessarily reflect the views of the UAlbany Advisement Services Center. These are their stories – their voices.
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